Written by Pat Brown, MBA
For student-athletes, pressure comes from many directions—coaches, teammates, parents, fans, and even themselves. The expectation to perform at a high level, maintain good grades, and stay physically and mentally strong can be overwhelming. While some pressure can be motivating, excessive pressure can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and burnout.
As a parent, you want your child to succeed, but it’s important to make sure the pressure they feel is not weighing them down. Helping your student-athlete develop healthy ways to manage expectations can make a huge difference in their confidence, performance, and overall mental well-being.
Where Does the Pressure Come From?
Coaches and Teams – Student-athletes feel pressure to impress their coaches, earn playing time, and contribute to their team’s success.
Parents and Family – Even with the best intentions, parents can unintentionally place high expectations on their child, making them feel as if they must always succeed.
Academics – Balancing sports and schoolwork adds another layer of pressure, especially for athletes aiming for scholarships or professional opportunities.
Peers and Social Media – Constant comparisons to other athletes, highlight reels, and public scrutiny on social media can make athletes feel like they must always be at their best.
Self-Imposed Expectations – Many athletes set incredibly high standards for themselves, fearing failure or disappointment.
Signs That Pressure is Negatively Affecting Your Athlete
- Increased anxiety before games or competitions
- Frequent frustration or emotional outbursts
- Fear of making mistakes or avoiding taking risks
- Negative self-talk and self-doubt
- Loss of enjoyment in their sport
- Struggles with sleep, appetite, or concentration
If you notice these signs, it may be time to step in and help your child develop a healthier approach to managing pressure.
How Parents Can Help Their Student-Athlete Handle Pressure
1. Set Realistic Expectations
Encourage your child to strive for excellence, but help them understand that perfection is unrealistic. Instead of focusing solely on results, emphasize effort, improvement, and personal growth.
- Instead of saying, “You need to be the best player on the field,” try:
- “Give your best effort and focus on getting better every day.”
- Instead of “You have to get a scholarship,” try:
- “Let’s explore all your options and find the best path for you.”
By focusing on personal development rather than just outcomes, you can help reduce unnecessary stress.
2. Encourage a Growth Mindset
Athletes who fear failure often struggle with pressure. Teach your child that mistakes are part of the learning process and that setbacks do not define their worth.
- Instead of seeing failure as the end, help them see it as an opportunity to grow.
- Praise resilience, effort, and problem-solving rather than just talent or results.
- Encourage them to reflect on challenges and learn from them rather than dwell on disappointments.
3. Help Them Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms
When stress builds up, athletes need tools to manage it effectively. Encourage:
- Deep Breathing & Relaxation Techniques – Help them practice mindfulness or breathing exercises to calm nerves before big games.
- Positive Self-Talk – Teach them to replace negative thoughts (“I’m going to fail”) with positive affirmations (“I’ve trained for this, and I’m ready”).
- Journaling – Writing down thoughts and emotions can help athletes process pressure in a constructive way.
- Mental Visualization – Encourage them to visualize success and confidence before competition.
4. Provide Emotional Support
Your child should feel like they can come to you without fear of judgment. Let them know they are valued beyond their athletic achievements.
- Check in regularly: “How are you feeling about your season?”
- Be a safe space: “You don’t have to be perfect. I’m here to support you no matter what.”
- Celebrate small victories, even if they aren’t winning moments.
5. Encourage a Balanced Life
Too much focus on sports can lead to burnout. Encourage your athlete to:
- Take breaks and engage in non-sport-related activities.
- Maintain friendships outside of their team.
- Prioritize rest and recovery.
- Find hobbies and passions beyond athletics.
A well-rounded athlete is a healthier, happier athlete.
6. Normalize Seeking Help
Sometimes, pressure can become too much to handle alone. Encourage your child to talk to a sports psychologist, school counselor, or mentor if they feel overwhelmed. Seeking help is not a weakness—it’s a sign of strength.
Final Thoughts
Pressure is a natural part of being an athlete, but it shouldn’t take away the love of the game. As parents, we must guide our student-athletes in developing healthy ways to handle expectations while reminding them that their worth is not tied to their performance.
By offering support, perspective, and encouragement, we can help our young athletes thrive under pressure—not be crushed by it.
For more resources on supporting student-athletes’ mental health, feel free to reach out to me at in**@**********************es.com. Together, we can ensure our children excel in sports while maintaining their well-being.
