Written by Pat Brown, MBA
Student-athletes face immense pressure to perform at their best, whether it’s in a big game, during tryouts, or even in practice. While a certain level of stress can enhance focus and motivation, excessive anxiety can hinder performance and negatively impact an athlete’s mental and emotional well-being.
Performance anxiety, or the fear of failing or underperforming, is common among student-athletes. It can lead to self-doubt, overthinking, and physical symptoms that interfere with their ability to compete. As a parent, recognizing the signs of performance anxiety and helping your child develop coping strategies can make a significant difference in their confidence and overall mental health.
Signs of Performance Anxiety in Student-Athletes
Performance anxiety can manifest in different ways, including:
Negative Self-Talk and Self-Doubt
- Frequent thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “What if I mess up?”
- Fear of disappointing coaches, teammates, or family
- Harsh self-criticism after practices or games
Physical Symptoms
- Rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, or excessive sweating
- Stomach aches, nausea, or dizziness before games
- Muscle tension or shakiness that affects coordination
Avoidance and Fear of Failure
- Hesitating to take risks or make plays due to fear of making a mistake
- Avoiding high-pressure situations or even skipping practices or games
- Struggling with perfectionism and feeling like every mistake is a disaster
Emotional and Behavioral Changes
- Increased frustration, irritability, or emotional outbursts
- Withdrawing from teammates, coaches, or family
- Losing motivation or interest in their sport
How Parents Can Help Their Student-Athlete Manage Performance Anxiety
1. Normalize Anxiety and Validate Their Feelings
Let your child know that feeling nervous before a game or competition is completely normal. Even professional athletes experience anxiety, and it doesn’t mean they aren’t prepared or capable.
- Instead of saying “You shouldn’t be nervous,” try:
- “It’s okay to feel this way. It means you care about what you’re doing.”
- “Many great athletes feel nervous before a big moment. What matters is how you handle it.”
Helping your child understand that anxiety is a natural response can make them feel less isolated in their struggles.
2. Shift the Focus from Outcome to Effort
A lot of performance anxiety comes from fearing the outcome—whether they will win or lose, succeed or fail. Encourage your child to focus on effort and growth instead of results.
- Celebrate progress and improvements rather than just wins and statistics.
- Reinforce that mistakes are part of learning, and failure is an opportunity to grow.
- Help them set personal goals that are within their control, such as improving endurance, staying positive, or executing a specific skill.
3. Teach Breathing and Relaxation Techniques
When anxiety builds up, it affects the body physically. Teaching your child simple relaxation techniques can help them manage nervousness in the moment.
- Deep Breathing: Inhale for four seconds, hold for four seconds, exhale for four seconds. Repeat a few times before a game or during stressful moments.
- Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Have them tense and then release different muscle groups to ease physical tension.
- Mindfulness and Visualization: Encourage them to picture themselves successfully executing plays or staying calm under pressure. This can help build confidence.
4. Develop a Pre-Game Routine for Confidence
Having a structured pre-game routine can help an athlete feel more in control and less anxious. Encourage them to develop a ritual that helps them stay focused and confident.
- Listening to music that pumps them up or calms them down
- Doing a set warm-up routine to feel physically ready
- Using positive affirmations like “I am prepared” or “I’ve put in the work, now I’ll trust myself”
The key is to create consistency, so their mind and body associate the routine with being in the right mental space to compete.
5. Encourage Positive Self-Talk
Anxious athletes often have an inner critic that tells them they’re not good enough or that they’ll fail. Teaching them to replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations can help shift their mindset.
Instead of:
- “I’m going to embarrass myself if I miss this shot.”
- “Everyone will be disappointed if I don’t play well.”
Encourage:
- “I’ve trained for this, and I am ready.”
- “No matter what happens, I will learn and improve.”
Writing down positive affirmations and reading them before games can reinforce a healthier mindset.
6. Model a Healthy Response to Stress and Pressure
Children often mirror their parents’ behaviors. If you stress over their performance or get overly emotional about wins and losses, they may absorb that pressure.
- Show them that mistakes are part of life and learning.
- Avoid tying your praise or support to their performance. Instead, acknowledge their character, effort, and passion.
- Be mindful of how you react after games—whether they win or lose, make sure they know you’re proud of them.
7. Seek Professional Support If Needed
If performance anxiety is significantly affecting your child’s ability to enjoy their sport or function in daily life, seeking professional help from a sports psychologist or mental health counselor can be extremely beneficial.
- A therapist can help them develop coping strategies tailored to their specific challenges.
- Sports psychologists specialize in helping athletes build confidence, manage stress, and improve mental resilience.
Encourage your child to view mental health support as just another tool—like a coach or a trainer—to help them reach their full potential.
Final Thoughts
Performance anxiety is a common but manageable challenge for student-athletes. By normalizing their emotions, teaching them stress-management techniques, and reinforcing positive habits, you can help your child develop mental resilience that will benefit them not just in sports, but in all aspects of life.
Every athlete, no matter how talented, experiences moments of doubt and nervousness. The key is to help them understand that anxiety does not define them—it’s how they respond to it that truly matters.
For more resources on supporting student-athletes’ mental health, feel free to reach out to me at in**@**********************es.com. Let’s work together to create a positive, balanced, and mentally strong athletic journey for our children.
