Written by Pat Brown, MBA
Being the parent of a student-athlete can be a rewarding yet challenging experience. From the excitement of their achievements to the pressure of their training and competition schedules, it’s natural to want to provide as much support as possible. However, it’s equally important to ensure that your support doesn’t feel like additional pressure. A student-athlete’s life is often full of expectations—from coaches, teammates, peers, and even themselves. As a parent, your role should be to offer encouragement and understanding without adding to their stress.
Here are some strategies to support your student-athlete without pressure:
1. Listen and Be Present
The most effective way to support your student-athlete is by simply listening. Sometimes, what they need most is someone to talk to who understands their experiences without judgment. Instead of offering advice immediately or pushing for outcomes, take the time to listen to their thoughts, struggles, and triumphs. Ask open-ended questions, such as:
- “How are you feeling about your training?”
- “Is there anything on your mind lately?”
- “What are you most excited about right now?”
This lets your child know that you care about them as a person, not just as an athlete. Your presence and active listening will go a long way in providing emotional support without increasing any performance-related stress.
2. Focus on the Process, Not Just Results
In the competitive world of sports, it’s easy for parents to focus on outcomes—wins, records, rankings, or NIL deals. While it’s exciting to celebrate victories, it’s just as important to emphasize the process, effort, and growth along the way.
Encourage your student-athlete to take pride in their progress, hard work, and perseverance, regardless of the outcome. Let them know you value their effort, resilience, and attitude more than any score or trophy. This can help relieve pressure and foster a healthy mindset for success.
For example, rather than saying, “You have to win this game,” try saying, “I’m proud of how hard you’ve worked to get better each day.” Reinforcing that improvement and effort matter more than victory can help alleviate the burden of perfectionism.
3. Encourage Balance in Life
Student-athletes often find themselves juggling intense practice schedules, academic responsibilities, and social lives. As a parent, it’s essential to support your child in maintaining balance without making them feel guilty for needing a break. Ensure they understand that their mental and physical health is just as important as their performance on the field or court.
Encourage them to:
- Take breaks to relax and recharge.
- Spend time with friends or engage in hobbies outside of sports.
- Prioritize sleep and nutrition.
A well-rounded life helps reduce stress and burnout. Remind them that taking care of their body and mind is key to long-term success, and that it’s okay to have downtime without feeling like they’re letting anyone down.
4. Celebrate Effort and Growth, Not Just Winning
While victories are exciting, celebrating small milestones, improvements, and achievements along the way will help shift the focus from solely winning to holistic development. For instance:
- Acknowledge the effort they’ve put into a tough practice.
- Celebrate academic achievements or personal growth outside of sports.
- Recognize the courage it takes to try new things, even if it’s outside their comfort zone.
Shifting the focus to effort and growth rather than just wins will create an environment where your child feels supported for their dedication, not just their results.
5. Allow Room for Mistakes and Setbacks
Sports are about growth, and growth often comes from overcoming setbacks and mistakes. As much as you want to shield your child from disappointment, learning to handle failure is an essential part of an athlete’s journey.
Encourage them to view setbacks as opportunities for learning rather than as failures. Remind them that no one is perfect, and even the best athletes face challenges and mistakes. Offer support when things don’t go as planned by focusing on the lessons learned from the experience:
- “What can we take away from this moment?”
- “How can you use this challenge to get even better?”
By emphasizing that setbacks are normal and part of the process, you help remove the fear of failure and pressure to be perfect.
6. Avoid Pressuring Them About Their Future
As a parent, it’s natural to want the best for your child, especially when it comes to their future. With the rise of NIL deals and the visibility of college athletes, there may be pressure to turn athletic success into a long-term career. However, it’s important to allow your student-athlete to explore their future on their terms.
Here are some ways to avoid pushing them:
- Don’t focus solely on NIL opportunities: While NIL deals can be a great way for athletes to earn money, they shouldn’t be the sole measure of success. Encourage your child to focus on their education, personal growth, and finding opportunities that align with their values and passions.
- Allow them to explore other interests: Encourage your child to pursue other activities and career paths that interest them outside of sports, whether it’s academics, internships, or hobbies.
- Let them lead their career decisions: Allow your child to make decisions about their athletic future, whether they want to pursue professional sports or take another route.
The key is to support their autonomy and ensure they feel in control of their decisions, instead of feeling pushed into one path.
7. Focus on the Love of the Game
Sometimes, in the hustle of competition and the desire for success, athletes can lose sight of why they started playing sports in the first place. As a parent, help your child reconnect with the pure joy of the game. Remind them of the reasons they fell in love with their sport:
- “Remember why you started playing—you love it!”
- “You’ve worked so hard, and I’m proud of everything you’ve accomplished.”
By focusing on the passion and enjoyment of the sport, your child can rediscover their love for the game and reduce the pressure to achieve at all costs.
8. Encourage Self-Compassion and Mental Health Awareness
Support your child’s mental health by encouraging them to practice self-compassion. It’s common for athletes to be their own toughest critics, especially when things aren’t going well. Remind your child to be kind to themselves and give themselves credit for their efforts, even on tough days.
Encourage them to seek help when they need it—whether it’s from a counselor, a coach, or a mentor—if they feel overwhelmed. Normalize the conversation around mental health and well-being.
Final Thoughts
Supporting your student-athlete without adding pressure is about fostering an environment of encouragement, understanding, and balance. By focusing on their growth, well-being, and love for the game, you help reduce stress and set them up for long-term success—both in sports and in life. Ultimately, your love and support will be the most valuable tool in helping them thrive.
- Pat Brown, MBA
